What to say when siblings are fighting
Two of your children are arguing over a toy, a turn, or a perceived unfairness.
Try saying
“Two children, one toy. That's tricky. How can we solve it?”
Narrate the problem, hand it back to them.
“You wanted a turn, and you weren't finished yet.”
Acknowledge both sides without judging.
“I'll hold the toy while you two find a fair plan.”
Only when needed, and without taking sides.
Try to avoid
- •Rushing in as judge — someone 'wins', and the rivalry grows.
- •Comparing them (“why can't you be like your sister?”).
- •Always making the older one give in.
Why this helps
Sibling conflict is normal and, handled well, teaches negotiation and repair. Coaching rather than refereeing helps children build the skills to solve their own disagreements.
Go deeper: read the full article →
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